Believe God!

It's taken me a long time to really believe God. To truly let go and let him. It's been a struggle for me to let go of what I thought I was controlling, primarily my life. And in all of my errors and mistakes, my life is still so richly blessed. God IS all the things we've known and I finally believe him!
I feel empowered by letting go. Like i lost a heavy weight.
It's been hard for me to claim I'm a Christian or even close to what God is like. It's almost sacrilegious to me. I can't compare myself to God. And despite all my flaws, he STILL loves me?
That had been hard for me to believe sometimes. But my faith always kept me strong.
Now I have this new gift of belief and I see myself becoming more (dare I say?) God like.
I, after much struggling with anger and forgiveness and holding grudges, am forgiving people...living people and not just those who are dead.
And it feels good!
It's likely a little thing to God, but it's monumental to me!